Forge Your Own Path

Hey there!

I haven't had the chance to blog recently. I'm usually exhausted after work (and have the occasional headache), I don't feel like doing anything besides reading a good book and petting my cats. I love, love having a relaxing, quiet weekend all to myself, but I also enjoy meeting up with a couple of close friends to watch a movie or just hang out. 

Friday: El Elyon
It's sort of a Christian concert/rally. It felt awkward for me to attend. Some acquaintances were commenting on how they haven't seen me in a while, and I just smiled and changed the conversation. Invited some of my juniors to attend the event, they told me it was pretty awesome. Sold drinks with Aijean, Shermen and Joanne. My juniors were all commenting on me looking tired/drunk/sleepy. Side effects of work, kids. Sigh. I felt sad during the event although it was quite fun. I remember a couple of years back, my friends and I were the crazy ones who sang our hearts out and jumped up and down. Now, we just clap and sing. Half of us weren't even there. 

Sometimes I hate how things have changed so much. Sometimes I appreciate it, because I understand that people change and go their separate ways in life eventually. Someone who used to be my close friend, isn't anymore. Not because of a falling out or because we never got along. It's because we've changed, found out who we really are and realized that we were never meant to walk the same road forever. 

Saturday: Trip To Hell
This was an event organized by the FGA: CYC church which is a Chinese Youth Church. A pastor (I think) shared his experience about his conscience taking a trip to hell with Jesus, and honestly what he described scared the crap out of me. Trust me, you don't wanna know this.  Almost everyone there (98%) of the 10,000 people there were Chinese. This was held in the Bukit Jalil stadium. Sadly couldn't make it for the Hillsong concert last Monday. Sigh. 

Sunday: Hangout at SCM. 

Went to watch Fast & Furious 7 with Mee En and Yi Wen. I didn't realize it was 18+ (which thankfully, I am) and the cinema attendant selling the tickets, looked at me doubtfully when I got confused and didn't know she was asking me if we're (me and YW) 18. But we got the tickets anyway. 

Went to Typo with YW while we were waiting for A to arrive after buying the tickets. 
I spotted a lovely messenger bag which I thought would be great to have for university. 
Although I think the flowery pattern is a little too feminine for me, I love the color and cloth material. The price was two to three times of a messenger bag that I can buy online but it's difficult to find a pattern like this. 

A arrived after we bought the drinks and popcorn. I enjoyed the FF7 movie, but it wasn't the best out of the whole franchise. Fast Five is my favorite. It felt too rushed for me and there wasn't much to the plot. A little cheesy at some parts. I liked how it's dedicated to Paul Walker though. I cried at the ending when I heard the "Brothers" speech. My friend sent me an audio note of him singing "See You Again" by Wiz Khalifa, and I couldn't believe it was him. The last time I heard his voice, he hadn't gone through puberty yet so.. no deep voice. HAHA. Okay, sorry I'm evil. 

We went shopping after the movie ended. I splurged RM80 on two raglan shirts in Cotton On. 
(Images from the Cotton On Malaysia website) 
(Not sure if I bought the shirt on the right. I think I did)

I bought the smallest sizes (as usual) because I feel uncomfortable wearing loose, baggy shirts (like the ones shown above) and XXS/XS usually suits me better because I have a small body despite the fact I'm tall (by Malaysian standards). I do not like the baggy sleeves though. 

I love Cotton On shirts and jeggings, but I'm not a fan of the dresses/skirts/etc because they're not my style. I like simple designs and clothes. H&M has uhh-maaa-zzzeeennggg clothes that either look good on me or make me look 5 months pregnant with a somewhat hefty price tag. I love shopping online, but most blogshops sell Korean clothes which are too kawaii (florally, sweet, cute..etc) for me. It's hard to find simple, trendy clothes online at an affordable price. 

I'm planning to save the rest of my salary from now till I stop working Mid-July, to buy myself a lightweight, affordable laptop. My friend told me to get a Macbook, but I don't see the point in getting one because 1. I'm not used to the interface and 2. I can get a great laptop that works just as well, for a fraction of the price. 

If I have any cash left over, it will be used to buy things I need for university (clothes, backpack, stationery) or to purchase drugstore makeup to practice my makeup skills (I'm still planning on getting my cosmetology degree) I hope I can find friends who'll be willing to be my guinea pigs experimented on (makeup and hair). In secondary school, people used to ask me to braid their hair during recess and free periods. *Sighs wistfully*

 This blog is still blank. Grrr. I cannot figure out how to work that slideshow. And I haven't drawn the banner. 

Forever Alone Maybe?
Do you ever get envious of people who can make friends easily? It's something I've always struggled with and it frightens me when I read about people's 'forever alone' experience in college/university because the chances of that happening to me is high. I pray that I'll be able to walk up to people confidently, smile and say 'hi' and proceed to have an interesting conversation with them. Just be myself, out of my shell. And prepare myself to face rejection or instant friendship. 

While some people may be natural extroverts and have no difficulties socializing, I believe that socializing and initiating conversations is a skill that can be cultivated by introverts as well. 

Don't Jump To Conclusions When You Don't Have The Facts.

Something which irritates me is people stating their opinions and calling it 'facts'. It's not facts because it's unproven. It is merely a hypothesis. 

Argued Debated with my mum a couple of days ago. someone told her that the university I want to go to is 'no good' and a 'waste of money' and that I should try to go to STPM so that I can go to a public university on scholarship. 

First off, it's difficult for even straight As STPM students (who are non-bumi) to get into public university. You really think that a person of average intelligence like me stands a chance? In addition to that, having gone through the school system for the past 11 years; I know that I don't function well in it. The only reason why I do well in subjects is because I like them or/and have decent memorization skills.

 When the teacher's not teaching in a way that interests me, I sleep on my desk or whisper with my deskmate/pass notes to my friends. I loved school in terms of having great friends and schoolmates. But studies-wise, I viewed studying in a "doing-it-because-I-have-to-do-it" way.

Not to mention the fact that STPM courses does not offer the course I want to study. There's a possibility that I will still have to take a foundation course before pursuing a degree. Which means I will waste one and a half years of my life in STPM. (-___-')

Secondly, you should validate your facts before judging a particular place or person. The phrase "But my friend says that.." is not justified. Why? Your friend's opinion is only one out of hundreds. Just because her son didn't enjoy his time in the university, it doesn't mean that what he experienced is the same as what every other university student there has experienced. It doesn't make sense.

 That's like saying "So my friend says that eating sushi breaks her out in rashes, none of us should eat sushi because that might happen to us." Tell me if that makes any sense. You should try experiencing it instead of drawing baseless opinions on something you have no personal knowledge or experience of. Having no solid basis for your argument, deems it invalid.

You refuse to even visit the university and talk to the counsellors there to clear your doubts. I understand that you're 'busy' but apparently you're not too busy since you have time to decide what's right for me. It's difficult for me to respect your opinion when you're too narrow minded to even consider things from my perspective. 

When I try to broach my opinion, you tell me not to be a smartass and just "keep quiet and listen" because apparently that's how life works. I'm supposed to blindly follow what my elders say and have no say in whatever happens. I'm not a doormat. I'm not an extension of you. For my life to mean anything, I have to make decisions on my own. 

No, I'm not strong-willed or rebellious. All I ask for is the right to voice my opinion and do what I want to do as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. Something I've always heard from adults is "We're older than you, we know what's best for you." Age doesn't always define maturity. Your perspective, while more experienced is also more jaded. You believe in the old social stereotypes, racial stereotypes and cliches. Examples being "All *race* people are lazy/cannot be trusted/selfish/disrespectful", "People with tattoos/piercings/blonde hairs are *inserts rude comment*" and "Science stream students are smarter than Arts students." 

It's unfair for you to generalize. No one (despite their outer appearance) is the same. We need artistic people in our world, just as much as we need scientific ones. Instead of seeing people in "groups", try looking at them as individuals from different backgrounds, life experiences and with different personalities. 

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Maine Lyn. Chinese Malaysian. Aspiring writer, photographer and videographer.