Lost Memories


Hey there!

Working on my presentation slides research while writing this at the same time...such is life. 

I can't think of much to write about right now. Christmas week was insanely busy, what with celebrating, going out to meet up with friends and trying to finish up homework. The week of classes after Christmas? Even more insane. So much research I have to do for journalism :(

Last post of 2015.

I was reading back on some blog posts from the blog I had in high school and I'm surprised at how much I've forgotten about things that have happened and how different I was back then. Reading the posts from a new perspective, also made me realize how oblivious I was to things that was happening around me, even though I was literally taking note of them and writing about it on my blog. I never took the time to analyze what it meant, until now (._.)

It's kinda bittersweet to look back now, after a year and remember everything that's happened. Some of the memories I have, which I didn't think about for a very long time strikes a chord in me now. Like getting insanely drunk on laughter in tuition (then not learning anything..worth it tho. So worth it. THANKS A LOT GUYS..okay, I'm the one who starts it most of the time. Just blame me), falling out with a friend or two (somehow that made our friendships stronger now HAHA), going for all those training camps (which I enjoyed and hated at the same time. Definitely worth going though, it made me more disciplined), Rangers (used to be a huge part of my life, till things changed and I left. Still Camporama next year...maybe?) and oh gosh, I can't believe how much I miss high school now. Not the studying part, but the times when we had no class, and just "bersembang" with our friends in class or wander around the school.

I'm grateful that I ended up in Andalas, even though when I first started, I felt like I would never belong. I wasn't exactly an outcast, but I never really fit in. I started getting into brawls in Form 2 and 3, thanks to some wonderful guy friends I had (we're on good terms now) and I was like "WHY AM I IN THIS GODFORSAKEN PLACE?"  But still, it was better than Form 1...and we were friends even though we fought almost everyday. Like we'd sit in class together, and not study at all. Just talk (usually hamsap stuff..cause of the three guys -.-) or me and Jihah watching them do weird crap and being grossed out.

Form 4 & 5, was the sweet spot. Met amazing people, stayed friends with people from my old class and studies wasn't that bad either. There was still drama (yeah, high school) and conflicted feelings I never talked about with anyone, but overall, I loved every moment that happened, except for those moments I hated. (okay..what? never mind, haha)

Update: Recently reconnected with my STM classmates. YASSS. I freaking miss them all. It was Vemlan's idea to create the group. DD and I just supported it and helped to add more people. On one hand, yay, we're all talking to each other again. On the other.. we spam ourselves with a ton of messages -_-

I'm glad that I blogged all through my years in high school. It's nice to look back, every once in a while. Blogging about life now too, someday I'll read the posts I wrote and remember all the memories I'll forget.

One of the guys from high school who used to pick on me a lot, asked me if I'm sad about not having someone like him (a.k.a. annoying pain in the ass) in university to teman me. I said "I don't know. You make life more interesting, but then I didn't get to study at all whenever you're around -.-" In a way, I'm relieved that the guys in uni now don't distract me from my studies, but I still miss all the annoying guys I know from high school and how entertaining their antics were :(


2015 is coming to an end. Reflecting on this year, I'd say there has been a lot of goodbyes and "See you again someday." Also, reconnecting with old friends from forever ago and making new friends. It's always been hard for me to let people go, but I know better now.


When you stop being close to someone, it doesn't mean that your friendship is gone forever. Who knows, maybe you'll find each other again someday. Maybe you won't. But either way, it'll be okay.

I think I've always depended on people too much. For companionship. And I was afraid of being alone. I'm starting to understand that although having people who care about me is a significant part of my life, it's okay to be on my own. Eventually, you get used to isolation anyway. I'm not lonely now, but I do feel like I'm getting too attached to some people and it worries me, because I don't know how I can handle it if they leave. He (seriously need a new nickname for him)  told me to stop worrying, because we never know what's going to happen in the future. Annnddd...I'm probably gonna jinx myself by saying this but I hope our friendship (at least) lasts this time. 

BUT that is what scares me. I don't like the unpredictable. I'm the sort to plan ahead, foresee possible consequences and avoid taking risks. And I'm taking a really big risk this time, because I actually care about what happens if things go sideways. It's ingrained in my personality. (It's funny how all of the people I'm close to are the go-with-the-flow type and then, there's me with my planners and calenders..) I wouldn't even go on a trip without a lot of planning and preparation beforehand. 

Scratch that, even a hangout. I don't do last-minute hangouts, I need at least a 12-hour notice in advance. Reasons? Cause I need time to finish up any menial tasks before I go out, plan what to wear/bring and get enough sleep. Also, sometimes I'm in my lazy pants (a.k.a. I look like crap) and if you ask me to go out, my reaction will be "WTF, looking like this? NO." HAHA. I'm trying to be more flexible with my time, but it's hard when I've gotten so used to the structured routine I've maintained for so long. 

Also, vaguely related: I reply to my messages only once a day. (Sometimes, I don't bother replying for a week). I got into the habit of doing that last year, and it's hard to break from it now ._. I hope people don't take it personally. I'm replying more often these days (cause reasons) but I still don't understand how people can reply so quickly when they're doing something else at the same time. Maybe multitasking is not for me >.< I'm trying to force myself to be more active when texting though. Situation has changed things for me. <- I mention this a lot, but people keep complaining, so YEAH.

The Past Week (and photos when I remembered to take them)

With Nelly and Wern Ni. Wish Nay could have made it, but it was a last minute plan :(
It's funny, the four of us would be: Nelly, Nay, Wern Ni, Wern Lyn (Maine) HAHAHA. 

We call ourselves the Fishy gang now.
We're all part of the mamak gang also and the girls group, in our class.

We went a little crazy :3

This would have been on a postcard, but they ran out of postcards :(
We still have this photo though.

In MPH, drooling over books (yay, bookworms!) and stationary.

Yes, I know, I have sad eyes when I don't use eyeliner -_-
I went to help Aijean out with her GMA project.
Cleaning the RR store. .Cue flashback to my project 3 years ago :3
Mine took a longer time because back then, the store hadn't been cleaned in years and there was a ton more of junk there. Also, my dad was there and he's very particular about doing things thoroughly so we couldn't half-ass anything. . I'm starting to see where I got my terlalu organized side from ._.

Sam, John, Khishan, Arjay, Phoebe, Dorothy, Eleora and Christine were there too. We finished cleaning in about 1-2 hours, I think. It was pretty hilarious because the guys were there. Told Sam not to touch the pile of clothes. Guess what he did? HE TOUCHED THE PILE OF CLOTHES -.- I don't know how I grew up with him for 12+ years without strangling him to death. HAHA. Khishan knelt down while holding the dustpan, everyone was looking at him with the "WTF?" expressions on their faces. Cmdr Molly asked him if he was proposing to someone, but no one was standing in front of him also. My sides hurt from laughing at him. And he told me I'm the weird one. Hehhh, at least I never proposed to dust before HAHAHA.

Cmdr Molly took us to McDs after that to makan. The girls arrived first, so we quickly eat and waited for the rest to come. I wanted ice cream, so I went to line up behind the guys with Eleora after they came. Sam or Khishan asked "Why are you here?" I replied in a high-pitched voice "Cause me wants iceee creeaamm!" Khishan was like "Oh my gosh, don't do that, I hear you say weird crap like that all the time on Skype." (This my bro's bestie, I kacau them when they play games a lot) John said "Lol, so cute." Sam was just like "See what I have to put up with, all the time from her? Know her for so long, she never changed at all." I feel like I was drunk that day. Or just happy for some reason or other. (That reason is ice cream. I love ice cream.) Arjay didn't say anything, he just looked at me curiously ._. 

After we ordered, the guys started laughing really hard and saying "Are you serious, man?! REALLY?". I asked "What's going on?" to Eleora. She said "I have NO idea." and shook her head. Turns out Arjay bought a Happy Meal. I laughed. I couldn't help it. That was just....unexpected to say the least. Went to sit down, and I got high on ice cream. 

So yeah... I annoyed Khishan (who was sitting next to me) by replying in a high pitched voice when he talked to me or saying nonsense like "Coconut is my friend?" with a straight face. Everyone else's reaction was either "Wtf Maine?" or "Memang like this lah you." They know me too well already. Although I feel like no one has really seen me go nuts for a long time. I pity the guys who were talking to me for the first time though, they looked so baffled and I'm pretty sure their thoughts were along the lines of "When can we ditch this place and go to CC?" 

It was a good day. So tiring but it was good. I went out again after I came home. The type of sleep I like best is when I'm exhausted. I usually have to listen to music until I feel sleepy before I doze off :l 

Final Week Of 2015:

I went to uni an hour earlier on Tuesday to meet the guys (Aiman & Prahveen) in the library to work on our presentation for that day. I like writing, but I don't understand what we're supposed to be writing about or researching most of the time :( 

I kinda feel conflicted about whether I should choose broadcasting or journalism next semester now. Journalism: Writing, yay! Still confusion about content. Also, class will probably be smaller next semester. Broadcasting: ...Okay, we haven't had enough classes for us to really understand what we're learning ._. HAHA I'm screwed. 

Anyway, we went to class after having a snack at Block E. Well, the guys ate but I couldn't because of my ulcer. Also, I was working on the slides still. I managed to get it halfway done but I still need to cite and add in more information. We went to class and we were the only ones there ._. when Ms. Joethi arrived. 

Found out later that Shern and Imran went to the wrong classroom. <- Thanks guys, you successfully delayed our presentation unintentionally. HAHAHA. Ken and Shreena didn't come to class..so.... Ms. Joethi decided to have the presentation (got marks sial, we no assignment but that counts) next week, since our content was lacking. We spent the class, listening to her explain in detail, exactly what we're supposed to do. 

When class was over, and we walked out of the room, the first thing Shern said, "So did you guys know how to do it?" Everyone "NOPE. We had no clue. Just crapped everything only." Well, at least we're less lost now, heheh.

All of us (except Shern, who went to the gym) went to makan. Imran got Subway (again), the rest of us ate Chic-licious. I feel like it's expensive, but it's okay for eating once in a while. I don't remember what we talked about. I've been feeling distracted and restless lately, and I blank out a lot. Prahveen and I went to the computer lab afterwards but the one we wanted to use was unavailable :( So I went to the library with him and Yap for a while, before going back. The library was so empty today, it's kinda creepy.

On Wednesday... I was late for class. Haih. Sat down, and started studying. Heh. During the break, I was talking to Levy and Adleen for a while about the end-of-the-year, our passionfruit topic and hair and makeup. (girls okay, haha) Levy asked for a sweet, so I gave her a Christmas candy mint. Shern was like "OMG I WANT ONE TOO." so I gave it to him and he looked so excited, I laughed at him. Hugged Nay, since I haven't seen her in a while and also because we always hug. HAHA. 

Went outside, said hi to Eunice and hugged her too. Then went back inside class and talked till Ms. Morais started on the next chapter, After class, it was just hugging a couple of people, talking to Nelly, Wern Ni, Diana, etc for a while and saying "See you guys next year/week!" . Nay, Shern and I walked to the commercial block together. We were talking about how Shern has the tendency to say certain things and how he should break out of that habit. He was like "But I can't help myself.." C'MON SHERN, DON'T DO IT. We gonna train him out of it..eventually. 

He went back to his home (errr...apartment?) and we went to eat before our dance class. Talked a lot about personal experiences, and almost cried but we didn't. Walked to the SLC and bumped into the guys on the way there. Talked to them for a bit then said goodbye. haha, I know, sorry I malas elaborate.

In the SLC. Worked on my visual comm assignment on Nay's laptop while she did some research on mine. Everyone started coming in, and we did our warm ups. Our choreography: Sorry -Justin Bieber. It was so funnnnn. Everyone: Omg..So much jiggling.

We practiced it so many times, by the time we filmed it, we were dead on our feet and just flapping all over the place. HAHA. I felt sick and had to sit down for a while, but I went right back to dancing when I felt somewhat better. It's gonna be our last dance class until March 2016, and I didn't want to regret not dancing when I had the chance :) Eunice left first, so I hugged her goodbye. Then Nay, I hugged her too. Then I had to leave (to 7-11 to get something to make the nausea go away) so I hugged Aina and Lin goodbye, since I won't see them for a while :( 

It's been a good year. Going for the countdown later with my friends from high school, yayyy <3
I miss them faces. 

My family's Christmas tree in church.

Tried to do a photo-ception.. it's too blurry :(

This is me trying to figure out if the 3D model is real or not. HAHA.
Thanks Wern Ni :P

I'M SO GLAD I have darker hair again.
I did not feel like myself with that bright red :(

Second hall. Damn. Memories. Gets. Me. Everytime.

It's so pretty <3

I love this dress.

My hair color now.
I should dye the bottom pink, but I haven't had the time. 
And I kinda like it this way..

My bangs are long now, but I'm not sure if I prefer it like this or shorter :(
Side note: I can finally wear purple/pink lipstick again without it clashing with my hair :D

......Till next year! :)

Thought: I kinda want to create a private blog to rant about more personal stuff. But that would mean the content here will be lacking..so I don't know. Haih. 

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Maine Lyn. Chinese Malaysian. Aspiring writer, photographer and videographer.