The Aftermath

Hey there!

I finally have time to blog, yay!

Hey, Nelly :3
...I'm not too hyped up about having red hair again. 
I suck at taking selfies lately. 
My bangs grew out, photos were taken the day before I got frustrated and snipped them.
My hair confuses me now, I have no idea where my parting is and where my bangs go anymore.
Oh YA, I changed my specs. 
But it's similar to my previous pair, only slightly bigger so it's not noticeable. 
IT MAKES ME LOOK SO NERDY THO.

Update:

University life has been "ugh" lately. But I managed to stay mostly positive throughout the week. Fun stuff did happen too. I went on a phone break for the whole week too. People don't understand why I choose to do it, and I find it hard to explain, but basically, I knew it was going to distract me from doing what I was supposed to do (namely assignments, ugh)


I didn't want to be replying to messages or going on Reddit/Instagram/Snapchat while studying cause it makes me lose my motivation to study and I end up not getting any work done or finish it slower than I could have. And guess what? IT WORKED. I finished my presentation essay and slides, sent in my broadcasting assignment, did some research for my debate and my group managed to finish our Media Law assignment relatively early.


Also finished my journalism quiz (which is due after CNY) the day after it was assigned and helped everyone else with proofreading their assignment and giving them tips on how to do it when I stayed back in uni. This is probably the most productive week that I've ever had......and I hope I never have to experience it again ._.


You know what it's like when you have a ton of work to do and you think that you wouldn't have enough time to do it and you can literally feel the hairs on your head turning white? That's how all of us felt this past week. HAHAHA. The only downside is now I have to reply to all the messages I've been ignoring for the past week (and from the previous weeks) and I feel so goddamn lazy to do that.


Every time I answer "Oh, I finished it already." when people ask "Have you done this or that?" They'd  say "Wahh, so rajin ah." And I just go "Haha, no lah." I always feel uncomfortable when people say that, even if they meant it sarcastically. It reminds me of how lazy I was in high school and how much I (kinda) regret not trying harder now.


It's actually hard for me to start working on my assignments (or study in general) but I force myself to do it most of the time. As much as I dislike doing assignments, I hate the last minute panicking and stress more. I feel like I'm one of those annoying friends who go "What? You haven't done it yet?" and make people feel bad about not starting on their assignments. GUYS, I'm not judging you, I just don't realize how judgmental it sounds until after I say it. SORRY HAHA. But but..at least I offer to help you out if you need it :3 #donthateme


I'm currently in the state of mind where I'm extremely confused about everything. I don't understand life anymore -_- I'm happy that it's holidays at last, but at the same time, I wish it wasn't ._. All the work I had to do, really helped with distracting me from thinking about things I don't want to think about.

Thoughts:



I ran into a high school frenemy the other day. He said "Wah, last time such a tomboy, now wearing dress and makeup already lah?" I might have smacked him...or not because I'm a nicer person now. HAHA. It's surprising how it's not awkward to bump into friends anymore, except for when they don't recognize me and just stare ._. It's weird when you know you know the person, but you don't know if they know that you remember him/her and neither of you has the guts to say anything unless it's really obvious that you remember each other.




I think I have changed a lot over the years, but I'm the the same person. The biggest change is I'm trying to open up to people more, instead of keeping to myself and showing my crazy side (which only my closest friends used to see) I feel like I was embarrassed that I wasn't as popular or non-awkward as my best friends are, so I kept to myself a lot. To be honest, I don't know how my closest friends are always the friendly, likable, popular type who are comfortable being themselves, because I'm not like that at all. At least not with people I'm not close to.


I don't know if it's just me who's over-analyzing things, but I noticed that in my old blog, I sound a lot happier and immature. I cringe and laugh when I read the weird stuff. Even when I wrote sad posts, it still had a cheerful tone to it. It was especially bad when I was 15, I sounded high on oxygen half (okay, ALL) the time.




I miss being that person I was when I was 16. It might sound crazy or dumb, but that year (2013) was one of the best years of my life. I guess it was the only time I didn't have any obligations or romantic distractions, and when I could really focus on myself (not in a narcissistic way) and found happiness in the simplest things. It was a weird time too, not being friends with someone anymore, making new friends and being baffled when I was actually wishing the weird guys (namely Way Jie, Yee, Shawn) were in my class because they made life more interesting. They did visit a lot since their classes were in the same block, but it didn't feel the same.




You know how you think you're mature and responsible at that particular time, but when you look back a couple of months later, you think "God, I was stupid."? THIS WAS ME in 2014. I regret a lot of things about that year: not being nicer to some people, not being myself more, making someone think he had a chance when he didn't because I was too stubborn to admit I still had feelings for someone else, doing something for a bet which is now a black mark on my friendship with that person and not taking my studies more seriously.


I do feel like I've learned a lot from those experiences. It made me who I am today and now I know better than to do those things. At the same time, I feel like I'm constantly screwing up and not realizing it till later, while everyone else is making the right choices and doing the right things. UGH. I know I'm not the only one who makes mistakes, but I still feel so incompetent.


Maybe I analyze my past too much.. I guess I do it, so I don't repeat the same mistakes again. It's kinda why I stopped saying sarcastic things and making bets, cause I always end up saying or doing something I regret. (hey, that rhymes!)

Anywayss.....

Photos, as promised. 
Staying back after Visual Comm.


We're kinda weird.


Harro, Nicky friend.
Yes, I know I look hideous.



I love this photo but wtf, my hair looks like a wig ._.


We were so red that day.








Going down to meet Prahveen.


Chatting about Olabola and our holiday plans.


With Nay nay.
Stole Shern's phone to spam his gallery.


After our presentations :)


With Levy a,k.a. Loveeeyyy.


We always make faces, wave and talk from opposite sides of the tracks.


So close, yet so far away :(

My hair is a mess :(
The dark roots are starting to come out, but I find myself not giving a poop about it.
I miss the hair color and style I had in August now. Haih.


Lately, I've been wearing a tank top with jeggings, jacket and boots. 
Cause I'm too lazy to dress up nicely anymore.

Comparing me (and the other girls) in last semester to now, we used to dress up all stylishly and wear makeup. Now we do either one or the other, or not bother at all. Some of my friends don't even bother wear contact lenses instead of glasses anymore. I wouldn't be surprised when we start coming to class in our pajamas, holding teddy bears next semester XD

They were raising awareness for driving safely.
The poor girl was lying on the ground in the hot sun.


Till next time!

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Maine Lyn. Chinese Malaysian. Aspiring writer, photographer and videographer.