20 in 2017

Hey there!


First time I've ever posted a photo of myself sans glasses here. Also the first photo where my bangs are long.

I think I look pretty much the same. 

It's the 21st of January and I've just turned 20 😀 


I was reading the birthday post I wrote last year: Nineteen At Last. I wrote "A promise to myself: A year from now, I'll love myself more than I do today." It was hard to do it, but I just reminded myself that I matter. I'm not special, and I'm just a normal person like any one else, but I matter. And it helped.

For my promise this year: that no matter what happens, I'll always find a reason to be happy. Been thinking a lot lately about the choices I've made and everything that I've been through and I realized that somewhere along the lines, I lost myself. I lost that part of me that always tried to stay optimistic, didn't care what others thought of me and who wasn't afraid to be myself. 

Maybe lost isn't the right word, because I was still that person..sometimes. Simply hidden, I guess? I tried to be the person I kinda was, or thought I should be. But somehow I started caring too much about what people thought of me. I stopped thinking of life as an adventure and only saw my destination; the end goal.  

I want to experience life differently from now on. Explore more places, get to know more people. Be the kind of person that inspires other people to find happiness in their lives, even if I'm not always happy myself. I feel a certain sense of liberation this year that I've never felt before. 

It's the feeling where I know that life isn't always going to be easy, but it'll be worth living. Just for the small moments when I get to experience any positive emotions, even for a brief moment. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and the feeling will be gone, but I hope it won't. 


Anyway, all I want is hugs and quality time with friends...but not today.😆 People find it weird that I don't like celebrating my birthday, but I just prefer not to have the attention and have people spend their money on me. I don't really care if people even remember that it's my birthday or if they forget to wish me, as long as they hug me for no reason on another day. I guess that means I don't care if people remember or not. I'm still really touched when they do. 

My parents told me to consider this car my birthday gift...even though I got it on the 5th of January. 😂 Thank you + I love you. We have four cars now, and honestly, three should have been enough but my mum, dad and Ryan use their cars all the time, so I can't use theirs for more than an hour or two. 

Then Perodua had an end-of-the-year promotion in December and my mum decided that since I needed a car, it's a good time to buy one for me. So we bought the Perodua Bezza 1.3 Advanced version. It's not perfect (kinda confusing because of the EcoIdle feature) but I love it 😍 I'm helping to pay half of the monthly payments so I'm glad I'm doing my internship and working a part-time job now. 

My hair's been shiny, soft and bouncy ever since I started using Kiehl's hair stuff.
I love how it feels, but my hair is ridiculously fluffy now and not stick straight anymore.

Refreshed my hair color and I like it a ton.

Chinese New Year is next week!

Light setup for the photoshoot we had yesterday. Josh told Eunice and I that we could take photos if we wanted to, so we did :D

Pink + Purple lights.

I braided my hair.
I love how it looks when it's crimped.
Where I do work on my laptop. 
Lately I've been working on a product script and I'm almost done, but I still need to come up with creative transition effects and visuals that just won't come to mind :(

Eunice took this photo of me after we finished a photoshoot for a product.
My hair looks really dark, but it's just the lighting and the fact I hadn't washed my hair in a while.
I took this shot of Eunice and I like how it looks.
We planned a meetup for the six of us, but only four of us: me, Joy, Esther, Aijean could make it. 
Phrase of the day: "Some things never change."
So glad that we were able to spend some time together <3
Lots of funny moments like when Esther kept closing her eyes for every photo + Joy and I couldn't get a good photo of us together HAHAHA. We all look different in a way, but still the same if that makes any sense. If you ever see photos of us from way back then, you'd recognize who's who, but notice the drastic difference between now and then.
 
Our lives have gone in completely different directions, but I hope we'll always be friends.

1. With Aijean: We totally killed the poses. Me with my "What is this?" face and Aijean with the "Just acting cute" one. 
2. With Esther: This was actually candid :3 I like that it's natural and we look so happy + weird. HAHA. #orangebanana.
3. With Joy: One of the decent shots we had. Half of them had too much motion cause we were laughing or flailing around.

I heard "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus (that was released forever agooooo) and might have rewatched Hannah Montana the movie. What she said before she sang the song; "Life's a climb, but the view is great." really resonated with me, especially in theme with what I plan to do this year. 

Another year till I'm 21. I wonder what I'll think of this year, when I look back in 2018.  Speaking of which, I haven't changed my IC since I was 12 and I should soon 😂 Waiting till my hair grows out more and hope my skin stays clear until then. I also have to take new photos for my passport and driving license (cause I hate the current photo).. hope that it'll turn out okay. 

This isn't a very wordy post, but I don't have much to say. A picture paints a thousand words, so if you think of the photos as words... you'd figure out what I'm trying to say through them :) <Wait what?... never mind>

Anyway, till next time :)

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Maine Lyn. Chinese Malaysian. Aspiring writer, photographer and videographer.